International Man of Orchard Knoll

We had no idea when we bought our home, the former owner who we will identify only as PR, was…well…we just don’t have a clue!
The first time we viewed our house, we were very excited. The walls were painted to our liking, it seemed to be updated…enough, and the track lighting was cool. (It should have been the little things like the lighting. Why didn’t we notice it at first?) The house was completely empty, except the closet in the Master Bedroom. It struck me as odd to find 5 shirts, all designer, obviously pressed, hanging alone. The house had been vacant for a few months, but you could tell that someone had been there on a regular basis to clean, so the shirts too, were easily dismissed.
A week later, we saw the house again. Our realtor had a meeting so his walked us through. We saw the boxes right away…was someone moving in? His realtor explained he had been renovating condos downtown, living in them as he went, and the one he was living in had received an offer for 10% above the asking price if the buyer could take immediate occupancy . He was planning on moving back in to the house until sold. Mystery solved right? The guy renovates condos and resells them, right? Wrong. The more we found out about this guy, the less we knew.
At the home inspection, the inspector pointed out the surround sound in the bedrooms. It looked as though everything was wired for video and audio equipment. Hmmm…single guy, obviously had money to spend, bedroom wired for sound…mystery solved! Ladies Man! That is what we thought.
During the negotiation process, our friend the renovator had sent faxes from his personal office at Toyota. (Our renovator had a day job?) Everything had to coincide with his travel plans. PR will get back to us when he lands in California…PR will counter when he gets to his hotel room in Chicago. Who is this guy and why does he travel so much?
John should have taken notes at the signing. The only thing he can remember is PR was a nicely dressed man in his mid 30’s who was “decent looking for a guy”.
In the excitement of the move and the wedding most of the irregularities were over looked. We joked about the track lighting and the AV hook-ups, but for the most part all was forgotten.
A few weeks after we moved we noticed that PR’s mail kept coming. The first few weeks we bundled it and put it back in the mailbox, without giving it another thought. Once our mail started coming in, we had to sift through all the junk. PR was getting catalogues for DJ equipment and video recording devices, plights for starving kids in Kenya, ski equipment, an invitation to return to a bed and breakfast and Steve Chabot and the Republican National Convention. Why is Steve Chabot mail and RNC mail odd? PR is African American…not to stereo-type, but there are not a lot of African American Republicans. Then there were the packages. They were still coming in. Twice I had to chase down the UPS guy so I could tell him the rightful owner was no longer at this address. We had no forwarding address…and neither did the post office. It as if he disappeared.
Neighbors didn’t know much. Most described him as a quiet guy, who was never home. He did drive nice cars though. We heard about the new Lexus he would bring home and the parties with guests with out of state license plates. Nothing substantial though. How could someone live in a house for 3 years and not know his neighbors. The more we prodded the more questions we were left with.
It has been almost two years since we moved. The mail still comes and the packages are sporadic. He has been summoned for jury duty, had a slew of Christmas cards and the catalogues keep a coming. I would have to say though; the most interesting package arrived a few weeks ago. It was a soft package from Thailand. We have unsuccessfully tried to return it, but the return address is invalid. We tossed it.
We have our own theories about the International Man of Orchard Knoll. Do you? Please share your unbiased thoughts. Who is PR?!